“Instead of parenting based on godly wisdom, we often approach motherhood by reacting to the continuous pulls both in our environment and within ourselves. Our emotions and fears, our children’s demands, societal expectations and the opinions of others are strong forces that compel us to react to them. Without definitive direction, we react to whatever internal or external pressures bode well in the moment… Reactive motherhood is compelling because it provides a yardstick by which we can measure our mothering…Unfortunately they are superficial measures of parenthood that distract us from God’s design for our influence. Although it may feel good in the moment, reactive parenting creates the very anxiety and guilt it was meant to alleviate! Proactive parenting is the exact opposite of reactive parenting. Proactive parents make decisions and interact based on a set of predetermined goals and values… Avoiding guilt, as a mother, relies upon using our parental influence with very clear direction and focus.”
Questions for Personal Reflection:
- What assurances do you chase after when you feel inadequate as a mother?
- How does the busyness of motherhood keep you in a reactive mode with your kids? What important aspects of parenting are neglected because of your busyness?
- How are you tempted to parent differently when others are watching?
- How do your emotions impact your parenting?
- What messages and patterns (both positive and negative) from your own childhood impact your parenting? In what ways do you tend to react to your past?
Digging for Wisdom:
- What did Jesus continually do to keep his focus? Why was it so important for Him to resist the pull to be reactive? (Luke 5:16)
- How can we avoid being reactive? (Proverbs 4:23-27 & Hebrews 12:1-2).
We will meet this Thursday September 27th from 9.30 – 11.30am at 2/F Island ECC for the study and again that evening from 7.00 – 9.00pm at 2/F Island ECC for the Toy & Children’s Clothing Swap. Newcomers welcome!