After learning the 7 Pillars of Wisdom, we now go further to see that “the wisdom of guilt-free motherhood is being devoted to your God-given influence while resting in the limits to it.”
Dr. Slattery discusses how we can use our influence in the following realms: our children’s free will, their need for expression and autonomy, avoiding power struggles, and facing consequences.
She then turns to the subject of Letting Go, and trusting God with our children’s lives.
“Your influence is wasted if you use it tring to interfere with God’s purpose and work in your children’s lives…Guilt-free motherhood is not about fervently clinging to our children, but faithfully releasing them” for His purpose and work.
She says it herself: “What it all boils down to is this: We live to love God and bring glory to His name whatever the circumstances. Yes, we seek and apply the wisdom of Proverbs to our interactions. We strive to build strong, loving relationships with our children. We work toward instilling character in their lives. But we realize that the final goal is to achieve God’s purpose in their lives and ours. We only have a glimpse of that purpose and trust Him for direction. His plan may be very different from what we want or hope, but we trust that what may be scary and painful is within His control.”
Questions for Reflection:
- In what areas of parenting do you feel frustrated about not having control?
- Think about your experience growing up. How did your mother do with “letting you go”? Giving you choices? Providing consequences for your choices?
- What are some appropriate areas in each of your children’s lives that you can give them room to make choices and express their autonomy?
- In what areas of your children’s lives do you fear trusting God?
Digging for Wisdom:
- Read Genesis 2:15-17, 3:22-24, and Romans 5:12-19. How did God approach Adam’s free will? Although He is the perfect parent, what did His child choose? What were the consequences? Although the consequences of Adam’s sin are permanent, what “second choice” did God give to Adam and to us?
- Read the account of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. How did the father avoid a power struggle with his son? What must it have felt like to see his son make a foolish choice? How did the father’s respect for his son’s free will encourage the son’s moral development? Relate this example to a recent incident in your parenting.
- Read Proverbs 2:1-11 and Ecclesiastes 1:12-18. These passages seem to contradict each other. If wisdom is “futile” why should we seek it? Where is the balance between seeking wisdom as mothers, yet acknowleding wisdom’s limits?
We will meet this Thursday, November 15, from 9.30 – 11.30am at 2/F Island ECC. Refreshments and childcare provided.